If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.
why is bungee jumping similar to a comdom. because if the rubber snaps, your f***ed
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex but one second later she did on the street with a criminal
What’s worse than running with scissors? Scissoring With the runs
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.
"Why don't skeletons go skydiving?"
"Because they don't have the guts... or the parachute."
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.
Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.
The fact that am high won't stop me from advising u😳😳 Don't plug ur phone while charging it is very dengeros 🤣🛌
What are a group of depressed people called?
A suicide squad.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways, wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes.
My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
