Rubeedi

When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.

I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.

How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.

Is your MBTI type INFP? Cause you're so FiNe.

I'm not into scatplay. In fact, I think that shit's disgusting.

What do you call a group of emo kids?

The Suicide Squad.

I've had conversations with many people. Some of them were drier than my dad's ashes.

Clothes are gay. They're in a closet.

It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.

What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?

A hypoteNUSE!

I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.

I thought a few hits would cheer him up!

A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".

The tree never responded; it left him hanging.

Why are orphans not that good at baseball?

They can never hit a homerun.

What kind of work from school can't orphans do?

Homework!

What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?

A lazy bones!

What's the difference between me and a knife?

One has a point, and the other doesn't.

Why did the pencil want to kill himself?

He had no point in life.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.

She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"