Risk jokes
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
The toaster, otherwise the perfect bath bomb.
Do I like playing Russian Roulette? Gun to the head, I'd have to say no.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving more than once.
Why did the parachute refuse to open?
Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.
Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. 𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓭𝓲𝓮.
Balls deep.
I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.
Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.
Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.
Why did the orphan become famous? Because they said, "Go big or go home!"
What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.
Toaster + Bath = The ultimate bath bomb!
What do you call people who jumped in the dam?
A dam fool.
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
"Hold my beer, watch this."
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
The mirror says: "If you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck."
The Magic Jewel says: "If you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck."
The condom just sitting there laughing.