Risk jokes
Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.
I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it's suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
You can't be a loser if you have nothing to lose.
If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:
"I have good news and bad news."
The wife said: "What's the good news?"
"We managed to save his arm."
"What's the bad news?"
"We couldn't save the rest of him."
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?
Asking for a friend.
Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways, wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes.