Weirdo jokes

What's a snake's favorite subject?

Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.

A hot girl wants to commit suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly, smelly, homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says, "Hey you hot babe, let's fuck." She just answers, "Get the fuck away you ugly bastard." The guy just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.

Weirdo: I'm too high to die!

Me: You'll just fall harder.

Me: Hi Jaiden.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.

Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*

Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.

FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!

HEY D.K. date ME, not that weirdo Freshfry! I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUU D.K. Let's DATE! I'm 13 ;)

A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.

I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...

Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?

Weird Kid: Magazines.

One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.

The more emos there are, the less emos there are.