Cow jokes
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds, "Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Huh Ruh Buh Duh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?
Students: Eggs.
Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon.
Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?
Kids: Homework.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated.
What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
Want to hear a joke about milk? No, it's too cheesy.
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
What cow can part water? Mooses.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
Where do cows get their medicine?
At the farmacy.
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"