By using this site, you agree to its use of cookies. Read more

There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, “Momma, why is my name Rose?” The mommy cow replies, “Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born.” The next calf comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Lily?” The mother replies, “Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born.” The third baby comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Daisy?” The momma cow again replieds" Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, “Huh Ruh Buh Duh!” The momma cow says, “Shut up, Cinderblock!”

My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.

knock knock who’s there cows go cows go who? no silly cows go moo

What do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef.

What do you call a cow with a twitch? – Beef jerky.

Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.

Déjà Moo: The feeling you’ve heard this bull before

A Man and a Cow are stuck on train tracks and There is a Train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does He save, The man or the cow? Neither. He isn’t strong enough to lift either of them.

A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. the farmer says “I milked your cow”. the neighbor replies “i have a bull not a cow”

How does a cow become invisible? – Through camooflage.

What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.

Where do cows go on holiday? – Moo Zealand.

I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.

What is a cow’s favorite party game? Moo-sical chairs!

Why do cows wear bells? – Because their horns don’t work.

What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? – A moosician.

what do you call a sleeping bull? A bull dozer

Why was the cow afraid? He was a cow-herd.

Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.