Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?
Students: Eggs.
Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon.
Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?
Kids: Homework.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
Where do cows get their medicine?
At the farmacy.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.
There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds, "Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Huh Ruh Buh Duh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.
What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?
Udder destruction.
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
I would tell you a milk joke, but it's whey too cheesy!
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated.
What does a cow watch?
MooTube.
