There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, “Momma, why is my name Rose?” The mommy cow replies, “Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born.” The next calf comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Lily?” The mother replies, “Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born.” The third baby comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Daisy?” The momma cow again replieds" Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, “Huh Ruh Buh Duh!” The momma cow says, “Shut up, Cinderblock!”

My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.

What do you call a cow with a twitch? – Beef jerky.

Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.

What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?

YOU GET A MILKSHAKE!

What do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef.

What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? – A moosician.

What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.

I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.

Why was the cow afraid? He was a cow-herd.

What do you call a masturbating cow?

Beef stroganoff.

Where do cows go on holiday? – Moo Zealand.

Why do cows wear bells? – Because their horns don’t work.

what do you call a sleeping bull? A bull dozer

What do you call a cow with two legs- lean beef

A cow is at his friend’s house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?

On the COWch (couch)

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something-I don’t remember. Then I replied TOUCAN play that game. He went silent and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you thick he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one and I ended it by saying, “Ok, lets MOOOOOve on cow[now]” Welp that’s it.

Déjà Moo: The feeling you’ve heard this bull before

What is a cow’s favorite party game? Moo-sical chairs!

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