What do you get from a dwarf cow?

Condensed milk

There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, “Momma, why is my name Rose?” The mommy cow replies, “Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born.” The next calf comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Lily?” The mother replies, “Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born.” The third baby comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Daisy?” The momma cow again replieds" Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, “Huh Ruh Buh Duh!” The momma cow says, “Shut up, Cinderblock!”

Two cows standing in a paddock, one says moo, the other turns to him and says ‘I was just going to say that’

Teacher:Kids what does a chicken give you

Students: Eggs

Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you

Kids: Bacon

Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you

Kids: Homework

What does a cow watch


Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.

My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…

What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.

What is a cow’s favorite party game? Moo-sical chairs!

what is a cows favorite move?-- the sound of moooosic

What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence

Udder destruction

How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on

Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!

What do you call a Sad Depressed Artist? Anything But Cows of Woe.

What do you call a cow with no toes

Lac-toes intolerant

How does a cow become invisible? – Through camooflage.

I got udder jokes too

want to hear a joke a bout milk… no it’s to cheesey.


Why was the cow afraid? He was a cow-herd.