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A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a “no”. His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, “Why do you keep asking me to croak?” The granddaughter replies, “Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland.”

What rock group has four men that don’t sing? – Mount Rushmore.

If Al Gore started a math rock band it should be called Algorhythm.

You know, most people take rocks for granite… sorry

I met a rock the other day. He was a very gneiss guy.

When you steal the weird pet rock so he pulls out his pet glock

How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want

How does you make a baby astronaut sleep? You rock-it

a guy cut me in the lunch line, after that a rock was thrown at him by my friend.

Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair. … she likes to rock And roll lol

What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock? A rock can break a glass celing.

What’s big, red, and eats rocks?

A big, red, rock eater

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you’re an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you’re a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

It’s a cool place and they say it gets colder You’re bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water’s getting warm so you might as well swim My world’s on fire. How about yours? That’s the way I like it and I’ll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

I saw a sign that said “Falling Rocks.” I tried it and it doesn’t.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped

Geology rocks!

What was Steven Hawking favorite genre of music? Rock and Roll.

What’s the difference between a rock and a dead baby?

You can’t f... a rock

My mama always told me, don’t pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose. Hey give me a break! I’m a little shorthanded! Oh no not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys I just lost my finger a day ago this is Tony later on