Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?
The Final Cut.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex? One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at the other one is a coconut.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender
A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a "no". His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, "Why do you keep asking me to croak?" The granddaughter replies, "Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland."
You know, most people take rocks for granite... sorry
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped
Why is a moon rock tastier than an earth rock?
Because it’s a little meteor.
What category of music did JFK like?
You could say he was a metalhead.
I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.
What rock group has four men that don't sing? -- Mount Rushmore.
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
White girl : So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight? Me holding a rock of meth : YES!!!
Apparently rock bottom has a basement.... :\
I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper. Because a huge rock is headed towards Earth, and paper covers rock.
Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.
Hickory Dickory Dock My wife avoids my cock She's losing her and having an affair So I had to slap Chris Rock
If Al Gore started a math rock band it should be called Algorhythm.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common? There's brains all over the place
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
