Risk jokes
Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways, wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
What are a group of depressed people called?
A suicide squad.
Never attempt to foreshadow your own death, you may end up regretting it. You can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if I’m wrong.
My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.
Seat belts are like the condom for cars.
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.
Everyone else in the minefield...
You'll end up DEAD if you don't stop COFFIN!!!
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.
"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
If at first you don't succeed,
Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
Are you a toaster?
'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once.
We had sex afterwards even though she lost.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!