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Puns

Anonymous

I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.

Man

ShiftyDealer69

Man: whats up? Me: im annoyed Man: Why? Me: I stole my gf’s heart Man: So why are you annoyed? Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks

Man

Ethan

A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”

Wife

Your Mom

A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man’s wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said: "I have good news and bad news." The wife said: "What’s the good news? “We managed to save his arm.” “What’s the bad news?” “We couldn’t save the rest of him.”

Girlfriend

Anonymous

A man wakes up from his operation and the doctor says ‘I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?’ The man says ‘bad’ so the doctor says ‘during the surgery your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man’ the man says ‘what’s the good then?’ And the doctor says ‘I’m picking her up at 7’

Man

BoomkittyFX

after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR FUCKING ARMS!”

Michael Jackson

Anonymous

what did they do with michael jackson when he died

he got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change

Puns

BADKITTY

I wanted to get brain surgery. I changed my mind.

Ear

Julies jokes

Doctor: I’m sorry but your surgery will cost a lot of money. Buuuuuut what’s this behind your ear? Oh it’s still cancer

Difference

Anonymous

a surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery

boss: “we have to let you go.”

surgeon: “I protest innocence.”

boss: “how?”

surgeon: “I thought to do your job and saving people’s lives were two different things.”

boss: “get out”

Girlfriend

Anonymous

I was going to an expensive dinner with my friends girlfriend because she really wanted to go but he just got out of surgery and he said take care of her so I said will do bro I’ll bring her back fuller that a topped up water bottle

Michael Jackson

Mark

what did they do with michael jackson when he died

he got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change

Prostate

Anonymous

How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?

It’s all Depends!

Girl

Anonymous

i used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but i had to give her anal resization surgery first

Doctor

lui nixen

mrs.mallaras boobs where (69) pounds she said that was to to to much(69222) so she went to 51st street (6922251) to visit doctor x (6922251 x) and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8) she ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008

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