If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
What's harder than steel? Joe Biden at a playground.
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull dozer.
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?!"
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
I went into a dark basement with a flashlight, but then it died, but I was not scared. I was actually delighted.
My new leaf blower doesn't work. It sucks.
Not a joke but theres no where else to post this , ( mainly this post is for the broke people w/o a gym ) . Did you know that the body can't tell if ur using weights? so lifting weights are optional . some beginner workouts W/O weights for like really weak ppls . 1. sit - up's 10 reps 2. push - up's 20 per reps 3. squat's 10 per reps 4. crunches 10 per reps
The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,
"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,
"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,
"You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,
"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
I like dicks... sporting goods.
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. βThat's my stepladder,β he said. "I never knew my real ladder.β
