Risk jokes

A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."

What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common? They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

What are a group of depressed people called?

A suicide squad.

I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."

I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.

I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.

It was a Risk I was willing to take.

Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?

Dam fools.

If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?

Asking for a friend.

How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?

You’re dead if the rubber breaks.

A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.

A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.

BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.

NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)

A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."

My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.

Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.

Why did the orphan become famous? Because they said, "Go big or go home!"

I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.

If you give a prostitute money, you will go to jail, but if you give a prostitute a Klondike bar, you will not go to jail. I would rather go to the casino and get more money for my buck.

Why do risky people have cats?

So they have 10 lives with them.

Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?

A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.