Profession jokes
It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?
He was a great veterinarian.
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
What do you call an Indian electrician?
Ashok 😂
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.