Profession jokes
FIRST DATE
Man: "I work with animals every day." Woman: "Oh, how sweet! What is it that you do?" Man: "I'm a butcher..."
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.
Memes
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
What do you call an Indian electrician?
Ashok 😂
Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?
He was a great veterinarian.
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.