Gynecologist jokes

What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?

They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.

How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist.

A genealogist looks at the family tree.

A gynecologist looks up the family bush.

What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?

Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.

What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips.

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"

What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?

Wet noses.

How does a woman scare their gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist.

What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?

A pap smear.

Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?

A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.

"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."

Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make 'em, we scrape 'em. No fetus can beat us.

So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.

After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”

She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”

To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.