Profession jokes
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
What do you call a rapper who works in the bakery?
DOUGH-KNIGHT
What do you call a rapper with a PhD?
A rap scholar.
Why did the rapper bring a map to the recording studio?
Because he heard they were dropping TRACKS.
What do you call a rapper who's also a firefighter?
BLAZE RHYMES.
What do you call a rapper who's also a doctor?
Dr. Dre.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he wanted to drop some HOT PLATES.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
Lil' Spice
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
Lil Sizzle.
What do you call a rapper who becomes a chef?
A LYRICAL COOK!
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get a degree in RHYMEOLOGY!
Why did the rapper become a barber?
Because he loved to drop FRESH CUTS.