What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
What do you call a rapper who's also a firefighter?
BLAZE RHYMES
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
Why did the rapper become a painter?
To brush up on his rhymes!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he knew how to MIX UP some BEATS
Why did the rapper become a plumber?
Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr*.
On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O.'"
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
How do men like their women? Striped
How does priest like their children? Clean
Why are most orphans strippers? they want to call someone mommy or daddy
What is the difference between stripper and candy? none. but they like it when you take the wrapper off
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
I'm looking for the bartender.
Person named Bart:
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
