Profession jokes
What was the name of a Roman guide?
Guide Gius.
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
There was once a dark room with a dark light and a terrible electrician.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
We are both lawyers.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
They wanted somebody to call "daddy."
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.
For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.
Why do people always tell actors to break a leg?
Because every play has a cast.
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute?
Because they want to call someone "daddy."
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
Will Will Smith smith?
Yes, Will Smith will smith.
So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
What do you call a rapper who works in the bakery?
DOUGH-KNIGHT
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.