How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
Engineer: I know engineering, and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!
Biologist: I know biology, and your gut instinct is full of shit.
Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.
I lick poo for a living... You?
What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?
Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!
What is a similiarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"
Only profession one could have coronavirus and still goes to work is suicide terrorist.
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
My career is worth more than your adoption.
As a doctor myself, there nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O.'"
Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute
Because they want to call someone daddy
Whats the best thing about been a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most
What is bus driver that does not work? A useless one ☝️
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he knew how to MIX UP some BEATS
Why did the rapper become a plumber?
Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES
What do you call a rapper who's also a firefighter?
BLAZE RHYMES
