Firefighter jokes
What is the New York fireman's favorite song?
It's raining men.
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!
Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?
Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?
What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
What did the iceberg say to the firefighter?
"Come close and I’ll knock you out cold!"
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
Jose and Hose B.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
What do you call a rapper who's also a firefighter?
BLAZE RHYMES.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
Why are fire trucks big?
To hang out with the firefighters!