Employment

Employment Jokes

Job Interview

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

Factory

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

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  • Emo

    What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?

    Showing them the ropes.

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  • Yo mama

    Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

    Depression

    Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...

    Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)

    AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]

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  • CEO

    So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.

    Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.

    Soda

    I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

    It was soda-pressing.

    Boss

    When you're fucking your boss's daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.

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  • Mama

    Yo mama is so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.

  • 1
  • Waiter

    Boss: You're fired.

    Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*

    Boss: You're a waiter. Where did you get those?

    Orphanage

    I saw this little girl crying. I asked her where her parents were. She cried more, man, I love working at an orphanage.