Chef

Chef Jokes

Oven

Nobody

Literally nobody

Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?

  • 5
  • Skill

    I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.

    Takeaway

    I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.

  • 3
  • Ramen

    I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."

    Restaurant

    I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.

    Cook

    How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.

    Rapper

    Why did the rapper become a chef?

    Because he wanted to cook up some FIRE BARS!

    Oven

    What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?

    “Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”

    Day

    I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.

    Titanic

    What did the chef on the Titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes? "Oh no, the sink sank!"

    Chief

    Why did the chief go to jail?

    Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!

    Chicken

    When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.

    “Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”

    Nut

    Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?

    No, why?

    Boy are deez nuts so big.