Career jokes
Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?
Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈
I bet Kobe failed flying school.
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?
Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.
Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?
Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!
Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.
Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?
Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......
"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."
Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?
To find the right direction for his FLOW.
Why did Dad Man quit acting?
I don’t know either.
"Nancy be like I sucked my way to the top."
Why did the rapper become a locksmith?
Because he always had the KEYS!
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
Why did the rapper become a fisherman?
Because he wanted to reel in the BEST HOOKS.
I've got a job defusing landmines.
It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.
They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
Well, they're not laughing now!
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
Why don't rappers ever become chefs?
Because they can't stop droppin' the beet!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he loved to drop HOT DISHES.
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
Why did the rapper become a banker?
Because he wanted to make some BIG BANK DEPOSITS!
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
How does a pimp answer when asked why he chose his occupation?
Answer: He wanted a stable source of income.