Chemist Jokes

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?

A: If you can not helium, you have to curium. If you can not curium, you have to barium!

An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."

All real chemists knows that alcohol is always a solution. I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.