Chemist

Chemist jokes

Plumber

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

Helium

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?

A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!

Helium

Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?

A: HeHe.

Mathematician

An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.

The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."

Man

What do you call a man with 6.022 x 10^23 dollars?

A Moleionaire.

Chemistry

Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?

Because krypton is "stable."

Biologist

A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.

The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.

The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.

The statistician shouts, "We got him!"