Chemist

Chemist Jokes

Plumber

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

Helium

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?

A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!

Helium

Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?

A: HeHe.

Mathematician

An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.

The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."

Man

What do you call a man with 6.022 x 10^23 dollars?

A Moleionaire.

Chemistry

Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?

Because krypton is "stable."

Biologist

A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.

The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.

The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.

The statistician shouts, "We got him!"

Africa

Why are there no chemists in Africa?

Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.