Profession jokes
Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
What do you call a rapper with a PhD?
A rap scholar.
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
Will Will Smith smith?
Yes, Will Smith will smith.
Why was the barber mad because I gave him a buzzcut?
Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- The doorbell repairer.
A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.
For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A rooster clucks defiance!
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
Lil' Spice
A project manager, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip through the mountains. As they're going down a pass, the brakes suddenly fail. The car goes off the road and crashes down into the valley. A bit dazed, the three of them get out.
The project manager says, "Well, the best thing to do is to have a meeting and assess the situation."
The mechanical engineer replies, "Nonsense, I have my pocketknife, I'll fix the brakes with that."
Then the computer scientist comes along and says, "Why make it so complicated? Let's push the car back up the road, get in, and see if it happens again."
What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.
I'm a clown.
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
What is a Care Bear's favorite job?
Take care of bears.
Engineer: I know engineering, and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!
Biologist: I know biology, and your gut instinct is full of shit.
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?
"I C D K"
You know what I see?
DICK
I told a chemist a joke.
No reaction.