At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.

why can’t orphans work at S.C Johnson

Cause it’s a family company

I saw an Isis video and I got the theme stuck in my head. I was humming it the next day at work when my Arab co-worker said, “soon, my brother.”

To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here

I’d tell you a joke about unemployed people but none of them work.

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work…

He’s a suicide bomber.

on a date me - "I get to work with animals all day" her - "How sweet! What do you do?" me - “I’m a butcher.”

Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.

A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.

After the plane takes off, a woman sitting sitting behind the man asks him, “are all of them yours?”

“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”

I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it

at class,a kindergartner named jeffrey,was supposed to do a project on which superhero his dad would be.1 kid said,my dad would be superman because he is strong.the teacher congratulated him.another kid showed his project and said,my dad would be batman because he has all of these cool electronics he uses every day.once again the teacher congratulated him on his work.then the last kid jeffrey,showed his project and said,my dad would be spiderman,because he pins me to the ground,and shoots out a sticky white substance.

When I was little I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike, I learned one week in Sunday school that that’s not how it works, so instead i just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.

Sans: wow. seems you’re really working yourself… down to the bone!

i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days

Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?

You say “Tell me if you can hear me”, then get in the trunk and start screaming.

A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bartender replies with, “I’m blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde.” Then says “Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?” the blind guy responds with "No I don’t wanna tell it that many times.

If a midget with d............ shows up late for work, is it okay to say she’s a little tardy?

Why didn’t Sally get home from work.

She got hit by a bus

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