Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate?
I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
What do you call a dog magician?
Labracadabrador!
There was a news the other where a magician disappeared. He was like"at the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Des,and he disappeared without a trace.
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.
Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."
"Really?" asked a little girl.
"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
There was a Mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three.
1-2-..... and he left without a trace.
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?
Ian.
There was once a Spanish magician. He said, "Uno, dos..." and he disappeared without a tres.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"
Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"
Why did Daveon decide to become a magician? Because he wanted to make his problems "Daveon" disappear.
Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?
A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts "Uno, dos..." and leaves no trace.
I don't know, my friend did it.
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
