Profession jokes
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
What do you call an Indian? Indiana Jones.
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?
Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!
Niall Devine, clown.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
MC Cheffin'.
I am really hot, but I hate water. What am I?
Why did the rapper become a fisherman?
Because they loved dropping BASS.
Why did the rapper bring a fishing rod to the studio?
To reel in some KILLER HOOKS.
What do you call a rapper who’s also a DOCTOR?
MC Healer.
- I work with animals.
- Great! What job?
- A butcher.
What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?
An Investigator.
If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?
A master baiter.
I lick poo for a living... You?
3.14% of sailors are pirates.
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
Why did the baker's hands smell of shit?
He kneaded a turd.
Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Doctor: I can't treat you.
Orphan: Why!
Doctor: I'm a family doctor.