Law Enforcement jokes
Yo mama so fat, the cops arrested her because she had 240 pounds of crack on her.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.
Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
What do you call a cab for black men?
A cop car.
The best part about Poland 🇵🇱 is that the police lights are different.
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
Cops have the hardest job: they have to tell women they have the right to remain silent and know damn well she will not have the ability.
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they all beat the room for being black.
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
Q. If a pedophile, necrophile, and a guy who is into incest are all sitting in a car, who's driving?
A. A police officer.
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
What do hockey players and cops have in common?
They both use sticks to hit something black.
What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."