One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
On the plus side, Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with alcohol.
What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?
"Get to the ground, beef!"
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
Yo mama so fat, when she was wearing black by a bank which was getting robbed, they thought, "AHH SWAT!"
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
Why do orphans like to play GTA?
To be wanted.
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...
Well nvm, they shot him dead.
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.
The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."
"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."
"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
911 what's your emergency?
Me: Officer, my girlfriend is dead!
Operator: What happened!?
Me: She bit the tip.
