Law Enforcement jokes

The best part about Poland 🇵🇱 is that the police lights are different.

What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?

“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”

What do you call a cab for black men?

A cop car.

What did the cops say when someone called him racist?

"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."

A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they all beat the room for being black.

The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.

Cops have the hardest job: they have to tell women they have the right to remain silent and know damn well she will not have the ability.

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

On the plus side, Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with alcohol.

Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!

What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?

RoboCop.

Yo mama so fat, when she was wearing black by a bank which was getting robbed, they thought, "AHH SWAT!"

A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.

What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?

"Get to the ground, beef!"

I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.

Why do orphans like to play GTA?

To be wanted.

The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,

honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.

Police officers hope you’re a criminal.

Doctors hope you get sick.

Mechanics hope you get car troubles.

But only thieves wish you prosperity.

Weird?