Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to take Snoop Dogg for a walk.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put Vin Diesel in her gas tank.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to mop the floor with Taylor Swift.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to ring Kristen Bell.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to skim Dwayne Johnson across a lake.
*Loud explosion inside the tank*
"Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK
I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.
How many gears does a French tank have ?
1 Forward and 6 Reverse.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
Knock Knock Who's There? Tank Tank who? You'er Welcome.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.
Yo momma so fat that she was used as a tank in Putin's war.
there's a kid with loads of new fire men equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kids asks the firemen come have a look at my new gear so the fire men go look at his gear so then the kid says kid: I've got a helmet a big jacket and a oxygen tank and a little wheel barrow for my gear
firemen says: why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls the kid says so I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet
I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didnβt stay long. Thereβs something fishy about that place.
what kind of shells do tanks use to cheat? a-cheat shells
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk so then I took him out for a walk then when I put him back in the tank he stopped moving
