A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.
The cop said, "But there is no traffic."
And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily I already fled the country.
a cop pulled me over and shouted papers. i shouted scissors and drove off.
I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Friend:How dark is your humor? Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis
A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"
The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"
One day a snail got robbed by 2 turtles, once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, Snail said "I dont know it all happed to fast"!
Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
The Women saw a Cute lookin cop she Had pulled up right Next to him and said “Hey can i get your number” He said yea it’s “911”. And drove of
Friend: How dark IS your humor Me: It started an orginization against cops
i saw a cuban prisoner i asked why are you running from the cops he said IM FREE AT LAST.
What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?
Ivana Pulyova
A cop pulls a man over and finds out hes drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says ̈Can i see your flashlight? ̈ and the cop says ̈just give me your license and registration. ̈ so drunk guy says ̈not until you give me your flashlight. ̈ the cop said ̈for what? ̈ and the drunk guy says ̈so i can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like. ̈
I was invited into a celebrity's house, thats what i told the cops at least...
