Cop car

Cop car jokes

Difference

What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?

With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.

Cop

Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?

A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.

Cop

I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

Cop

A cop stopped a guy for speeding.

He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.

The cop said, "But there is no traffic."

And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."

  • 0
  • Police Officer

    A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."

  • 3
  • Drunk

    Jim's car is swerving all over the road, so a cop pulls him over. "Step out of the car," says the cop. "I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test." "I can't," Jim responds. "You see, I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack." "Alright," says the cop, "then you're going to have to take a blood test." "Can't do that either," Jim responds. "I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death." "Ok," the cop answers, "then I will need a urine sample." "Sorry," says Jim, "I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low." "Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me." "Can't do that either," responds Jim. "Why not?" demanded the exasperated cop. "Well, because I'm drunk!"

  • 6
  • Community

    Hahahahaha Tank God Ayy, ayy I've been fuckin' hoes and poppin' pillies Man, I feel just like a rockstar (ayy, ayy) All my brothers got that gas And they always be smokin' like a Rasta Fuckin' with me, call up on a Uzi And show up, man, them the shottas When my homies pull up on your block They make that thing go grrra-ta-ta-ta (ta, pow, pow, pow, ayy, ayy) Switch my whip, came back in black I'm startin' sayin', "Res… Read more