Teacher: Where were you born? Student: The highway Teacher: What do you mean Student: I don't know my mom says thats were all the accidents happen.
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said: "I have good news and bad news." The wife said: "What's the good news? "We managed to save his arm." "What's the bad news?" "We couldn't save the rest of him."
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."
I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.
The wheels on the bus go round and round!
What do you take care of after a car crash? The witnesses
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
What is stronger than family?
The tree Paul Walker hit.
How to fall down stairs Step 1 Step 2 Step 6,7,8 9,10
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia
I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.
Kids in the backseat make accidents and accidents in the back seat make kids.
Stephen Hawking’s death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like
Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.
jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter
please like this. i bet my friend 20 bucks that i would get to 15 likes before him
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."
I was thinking of a good accident joke and I asked my sister, she said you
