How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger? Orange is the new black
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
So I saw the police. I yelled, "Dumper, get into the fucking yumper!"
*trigger alert*
Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?
Because there were too many black holes.
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night. The police told us to stay inside until they shot him.
The best part about Poland 🇵🇱 is that the police lights are different.
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?
A black guy.
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
Yo mama so fat, when she was wearing black by a bank which was getting robbed, they thought, "AHH SWAT!"
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
