Law Enforcement jokes
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
What is the good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in school zones.
Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."
Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?
So the police can see that he’s white.
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
when is it normal to freeze before being raped?
when a policeman rapes you.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!
*trigger alert*
Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?
Because there were too many black holes.
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.
I won't ever forget my dad's last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?
Don't get carried away!
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
Cops be like dead from COVID hahaha. Should have listened to the law, you dumb dead pigs!