Law Enforcement jokes
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
The police: Pull over!
The kid: Do you know who my dad is?
The police: What, your mom did not tell you?
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
Your dad left you because he went for milk.
*1,000,000 years later*
Her: Dad come back!
Him: FBI open up!
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
You were probably voted "Most Likely to Become an Ice agent" in school.
*trigger alert*
Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?
Because there were too many black holes.
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
The police officer in London, who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman, drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car, murder her, and do whatever to her, has appealed against his Whole Life tariff.
He should be relieved it was only that! Could've been worse... could've married her!
What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor.
Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
Please don't get mad, it's a joke.
What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.