I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.
A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.
The cop said, "But there is no traffic."
And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
I wont ever Forget my dads last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"
What did the rapist say to his victim. Go ahead call the police we will see who comes first.
Police: Where do u live Me: With my parents Police: Where your parents live Me: With me Police: Where do you all live Me: Together Police: where is your house Me: Next to my neighbor Police: Where is your neighbor’s house Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me Police: Tell me Me: Next to my house
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they all beat the room for being black.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.
What's the worst thing to star in?
An amber alert.
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
I wasn't cut out for running today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
