Injury

Injury Jokes

I asked my now ex boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.

I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.

(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat so yeah 😂)

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends. Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot. You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate."

Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, That some dick cut her off.

What's the difference between a new born baby and an orphan after a rugby match?

They both come out bloody and crying, but least one gets picked up.

*gets hit by a car*

Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"

Me: "Please...I need my...phone"

*opens twitter*

Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"

What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter? They both have torn rotators.

I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning. And my driver’s license got revoked too.

I was riding a bike with no helmet I went and went with no helmet until.............I broke my head with no helmet on