Me: What has two legs and bleeds? Friend: um women? Obviously? Me: actually half a dog. So you're still right.
chris77777
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?
God fucked her.
Me to friend: I'm homeschooled Friend: if I was homeschooled I'd kms Me: oh, I already tried that.
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
Friend 1: *turns off lights* Friend 2: *is there with us* Me: Woah! Where did friend 2 go?!
What's an emos favorite way of growing food? The slash and burn tactic
Them: whats on your arm? Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)