Razor

Razor Jokes

Mustache

Sir, I mustache you a question...

Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.

Mental Health

Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.

Cat

God creating cats.

GOD: Make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of.

ANGEL: Ok.......................................anything else?

GOD: YES, PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!

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  • Memes

    Self Harm

    If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)

    Baby

    What's red and in a corner?

    A baby with a razor blade.

    What's green and in a corner?

    The same baby three weeks later.

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  • Razor blade

    I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.

    Baby

    What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?

    An erection!

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  • Wrist

    What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?

    Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.

    Stairs

    Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.

    Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.

    Haircut

    A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"

    "Six pounds."

    "And shaving?"

    "Three pounds."

    "Good, then shave my head."

    Suicide

    Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?

    Well, they aren't.

    Why?

    They aren't repeated customers.

    Emo

    What do you call an emo hosting a charity event?

    Fund razor.

    Shit

    I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.

    Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.

    Friend

    There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

    John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

    Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

    John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

    Wound

    Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?

    A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.

    Rapper

    Why did the rapper become a barber?

    Because he wanted to CUT through the competition!

    Jesus

    Jesus has a twisted humor.

    kittens cute cuddly and loveable oh yeah, I almost forgot, add razors that stick out [of] their feet.