Razor jokes
Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard? -- A barber.
Sir, I mustache you a question...
Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.
Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.
God creating cats.
GOD: Make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of.
ANGEL: Ok.......................................anything else?
GOD: YES, PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
All you need is a razor blade in life.
I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.
Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"
"Six pounds."
"And shaving?"
"Three pounds."
"Good, then shave my head."
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.
Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.
What do you call an emo hosting a charity event?
Fund razor.
Are you a razor? 'Cause you make me red.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
Why did the rapper become a barber?
Because he wanted to CUT through the competition!