Razor jokes

Sir, I mustache you a question...

Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.

Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?

A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.

Why did the rapper become a barber?

Because he wanted to CUT through the competition!

Is skin picking self-harm?

Cause I'm red all over without a razor.

Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard? -- A barber.

I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.

Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.

Jesus has a twisted humor.

kittens cute cuddly and loveable oh yeah, I almost forgot, add razors that stick out [of] their feet.

What do you call an emo hosting a charity event?

Fund razor.

What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?

Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.

Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.

Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.

A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"

"Six pounds."

"And shaving?"

"Three pounds."

"Good, then shave my head."

Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?

Well, they aren't.

Why?

They aren't repeated customers.

Are you a razor? 'Cause you make me red.

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.

A noose, a knife, a gun, and a razor blade look at a child who committed suicide after being bullied.

Everyone looked at the noose. The noose would say, "What? It wasn't my fault!"

If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)

All you need is a razor blade in life.

Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.

God creating cats.

GOD: Make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of.

ANGEL: Ok.......................................anything else?

GOD: YES, PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!