I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.
The wheels on the bus go round and round!
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
Someone asked me, 'What are them scars on your arm ? ..' I thought I was playing a violin '
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
A boy and his mother survived a car crash. The boy asks his mother "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...
“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”
Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda look like me.
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.
"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.
"Boxing?"
"No, ... hurdles."
“what happened to ur arm?” “oh uh.. i became a gacha emo”
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback
i fell from the stairs the other day. it really "got me down".
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning fortunately no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
what's black and red and is a liquid? my scars!
Broke my toenail yesterday, I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell Shocked
Person: I broke my arm in three places
Doctor: well don’t go to those three places then.
i met a girl that was 6-5 and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm, she really said ohh snap like a twin tower
