I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning. And my driver’s license got revoked too.
Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
I was riding a bike with no helmet I went and went with no helmet until.............I broke my head with no helmet on
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a muscle.
I pushed the kid in a wheelchair into fire... I called him "HOT WHEELS".
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.
me and a wheel chair person was playing tag and i broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."
My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."
why did the ball person go to the docter
He was kicked in the balls
Your friend lost his left arm and After getting Out of the hospital you ask him if he’s OK He says yeah I’m all RIGHT
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheel chair, he is getting bullied but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself
Never break a girl's/boy's/someone's heart. They only have one of them.
Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels."
FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CANT BREATHE (I am Paul walker btw)
What part do people slit the most?
Everyone.
Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.
Guy : are you depression cause you're crippling me Car driver : no I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you Guy : don't worry I was already crippled because I got crippling depression
Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.
OWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST GOT A CUT ON MY BUTT, oh wait that’s always been there.
