I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.
Injury Jokes
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
"Ouch!"
"What's wrong?"
"I stepped on a screw."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm in ex-screw-ciating (excruciating) pain!"
What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.
None.
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
A. Because he got hit by a truck.
What did the beer can say to the other? "Open me, please!"
What did the coconut say to the other? "Crack!"
Why did the jalapeño cross the road? I got spicy!
Why did the hubcap cross the road? Crack!
Why jazz, Jr. Get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the tornado cross the road? Let’s spin again!
Why did the turkey get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the bunny get to the side of the road? Get furry!
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Goofy ahh grandpa fell down the stairs, and he said, "Damn!"
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
What do you call an injured Panera Bread?
Panera Bled.
When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
