what's small and can't turn around in a hallway? a baby with a javelin in its head!
DaBaBy12
A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"
teacher" hey James this is the third time I asked you a question!" James'' but you told me not to answer you back!"
Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends? Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? “I want you inside me.”
yo forehead so big it makes Megamind's forehead small
I got a detention because I told an emo kid to "hang in there"
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. "My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?" "Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"