Pilot

Pilot Jokes

Grandad

I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.

People

"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."

Plane

I heard some twin brothers were going as buildings to the school costume contest, so I went as a plane. It didn't fly too well with people.

  • 8
  • Year

    To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

    Father

    Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.

    Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

    Difference

    What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an airplane landing strip? Don't know, neither did my dad.

    Friend

    best friend makes 9/11 joke.

    you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."

    best friend: "I'm sorry."

    you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."

    Plane

    Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

    Passenger

    A pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers. The passenger asks, "Why did you become a pilot?" The pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says, "You're afraid of heights?" "No, I'm afraid of dying alone."

    Dad

    Teacher: Ok class, I'm going to ask a question about your family.

    Alex: Miss, my Dad died in 9/11.

    Teacher: OH NO, I'M SO SORRY!

    Alex: Don't worry miss. It was only Dad and besides, he did what he wanted before he died.

    Teacher: What was that?

    Alex: Flew the plane.

  • 5
  • Blonde

    A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."

  • 4
  • Plane

    Who reads the fastest?

    The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.

    Vacation

    Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."

    Dr. Seuss

    Dr. Seuss died September 24, but that was a lie. Dr. Seuss, when he was 97, he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes, Dr. Seuss allahuakbar.”

    9/11

    (just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.

    Intercom

    pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.

    passengers: *start freaking out*

    pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.

    passengers: *sigh with relief*

    pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.

    Seatbelt

    Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.