Pilot jokes

I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.

Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.

"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."

What is a Mexican’s favorite band?

Twenty Juan Pilots.

To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

I heard some twin brothers were going as buildings to the school costume contest, so I went as a plane. It didn't fly too well with people.

Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.

Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

What’s New York’s favorite game?

2001 flight simulator.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an airplane landing strip? Don't know, neither did my dad.

best friend makes 9/11 joke.

you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."

best friend: "I'm sorry."

you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."

Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

A pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers. The passenger asks, "Why did you become a pilot?" The pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says, "You're afraid of heights?" "No, I'm afraid of dying alone."

Teacher: Ok class, I'm going to ask a question about your family.

Alex: Miss, my Dad died in 9/11.

Teacher: OH NO, I'M SO SORRY!

Alex: Don't worry miss. It was only Dad and besides, he did what he wanted before he died.

Teacher: What was that?

Alex: Flew the plane.

A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."

Who reads the fastest?

The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.

Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."

(just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.

Dr. Seuss died September 24, but that was a lie. Dr. Seuss, when he was 97, he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes, Dr. Seuss allahuakbar.”

Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.

pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.

passengers: *start freaking out*

pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.

passengers: *sigh with relief*

pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.