Pilot Jokes

I heard some twin brothers were going as buildings to the school costume contest, so I went as a plane. It didn't fly too well with people.

To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.

Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

What’s New York’s favorite game?

2001 flight simulator.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an airplane landing strip? Don't know, neither did my dad.

Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

best friend makes 9/11 joke.

you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."

best friend: "I'm sorry."

you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."

A pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers. The passenger asks, "Why did you become a pilot?" The pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says, "You're afraid of heights?" "No, I'm afraid of dying alone."

Teacher: Ok class, I'm going to ask a question about your family.

Alex: Miss, my Dad died in 9/11.

Teacher: OH NO, I'M SO SORRY!

Alex: Don't worry miss. It was only Dad and besides, he did what he wanted before he died.

Teacher: What was that?

Alex: Flew the plane.

911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.

This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.

I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.

He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.

A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."

Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.

Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.

I don’t like making jokes about 9/11, my grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew

Dr. Seuss Died September 24 but that was a lie Dr. Seuss when he was 97 he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes Dr. Seuss allahuakbar”

(just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.

Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."

The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"