Vegetative Whore

Make Danielle Smith a lot lizard again!

I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

I started working at the AISH office a few months ago.

I felt like I wasn't fitting in. Then my coworker showed me where the pepper spray and emergency contraception pills were.

Now I feel like I belong.

Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.

What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

Let us prey.

Yo momma's an AISH worker.

I don't think it's a good idea for AISH workers to date each other.

If there's ever a shooting at one of those offices, the kid would lose both parents.

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!

Trump should be grateful for DEI.

How else could a mentally handicapped person be elected President?

My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"

If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.

They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.

Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.

That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.

Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?

A. A mixed vegetable.

Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?

A. A loaded potato.

I was going to make a bulimia joke, but suddenly it just felt so empty.

Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.

It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.

It's good that Canada doesn't have the death sentence for treason anymore.

Danielle Smith is so fucking fat she'd get stuck in the gallows.