The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.
Vegetative Whore
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.
Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.
I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.
Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.
I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.
I was going to tell a ghost joke, but it just seemed so mean-spirited.
Q. What's the difference between Donald Trump and orange Jello?
A. The Jello has a higher IQ.
If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?
Make Danielle Smith a lot lizard again!
I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.
Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.
I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.
I started working at the AISH office a few months ago.
I felt like I wasn't fitting in. Then my coworker showed me where the pepper spray and emergency contraception pills were.
Now I feel like I belong.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
Yo momma's an AISH worker.
I don't think it's a good idea for AISH workers to date each other.
If there's ever a shooting at one of those offices, the kid would lose both parents.
Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?
I guess he was a little deranged.
Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!