Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
Injury Jokes
I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!
Did you hear about the blonde who walked into a bar?......... It hurt.
What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.
MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]
The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."
I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.
I pushed the kid in a wheelchair into fire... I called him "HOT WHEELS".
My therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds," so I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
He slips, he falls, he dislocates his balls!
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
I kicked my leg into my dad's balls in 1999.
John Kreese's forehead broke when silver hit 'em in the forehead.
"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀
What did Michael Jackson say when Anne got hurt?
"♫ ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE? ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY. BUT JUST TELL US, THAT YOU'RE OKAY. ♫"
I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.
