Recovery jokes
I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.
The wheels on the bus go round and round!
"Rehab's for quitters, and I don't give up."
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but thankfully, I turned myself around.
Why can't depressed people leave the maze?
Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.
These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:
"I have good news and bad news."
The wife said: "What's the good news?"
"We managed to save his arm."
"What's the bad news?"
"We couldn't save the rest of him."
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident?
An amputation.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
Don’t worry if you have a stroke.
You’ll be all right.
My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"
My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.
One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.
Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says, "I have some good news and bad news."
So the patient says, "What is the bad news?" the Doctor replies, "I have had to amputate both your legs." So the patient says, "Well, what is the good news?" The Doctor replies, "I have found someone to buy your slippers."
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.