The 40+ Best Worker Jokes

What's a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.

I saw an Isis video and I got the theme stuck in my head. I was humming it the next day at work when my Arab co-worker said, "soon, my brother."

when you go to a orphanage for a field trip :when the workers said i remember you as a kid

Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? -- He took a day off.

I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere

3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my co-workers found gold. I said AU, bring that over here!

why did the hooker quit her job?

she had a nut allergy

A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "now were not even allowed to do that."

A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint...my....house.’

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers and gunpoint forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you pendu! 🤬🤬

What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?, screw you

Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus

My family chastises me for MY job, but you should hear how my family provides "customer service" at their jobs. My mother works as a social worker and answers the phone like, "DYFS, you beat em, we treat em." My grandmother is a Medical Examiner and she answers the phone like, "City Morgue, you kill em, we chill em." These bitches have no class! I'm an actress and studio secretary. When you call the studio, I answer the phone professionally like, "Good afternoon. IHOP, International House Of Pussy. Creampie Cassie speaking".

What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker? Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.

Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.