A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
Without women, sex would be a pain in the ass.
What's red and bad for your teeth? -- A brick.
If a person shoot's a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful or is it murder?
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.
My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"
Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."
You wanna know why I love trains?
They end my suffering.
sticks and stones may break my bones but a crowbar could do it so much quicker
A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says "Okay I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts". So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me??" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."
nobody notices your pain, tears, struggles, but why notice your mistakes?
Patient: “Doctor my bottom hurts” Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?” Patient: “Right around the entrance” Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance it will hurt”
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
What happens when an asian with an erection bumps into a wall? he breaks his nose
my pencil sharpener when i bleed: aAnd i dont really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.
Being gay sounds like a pain in the ass
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night? Dark humor.
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts ANSWER: assprin
you
I saw this one quote of the people who smile the most are covering the most pain I think this is true just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends but with my parents and family I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do. I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe 22/24 but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate saying I would tell her that my depression got worse she went along with it but I haven't told my mum and I know make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist