What's red and bad for your teeth? -- A brick.
Without women, sex would be a pain in the ass.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.
You wanna know why I love trains?
They end my suffering.
If a person shoot's a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful or is it murder?
sticks and stones may break my bones but a crowbar could do it so much quicker
nobody notices your pain, tears, struggles, but why notice your mistakes?
Patient: “Doctor my bottom hurts” Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?” Patient: “Right around the entrance” Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance it will hurt”
my pencil sharpener when i bleed: aAnd i dont really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night? Dark humor.
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts ANSWER: assprin
you
The closest thing in a depression person's life is a knife and his/her throat
what's black and red and is a liquid? my scars!
I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.
Friend: did your tattoos hurt Me: nah not really Friend: What did they feel like Me: 7th grade Friend:😶😶😨😰😰😰😨
My heart says to stop because it hurts Bro chill its really not that deep
Broke my toenail yesterday, I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb
