As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.
Why do horses 🐴 eat with their mouth open?
Because they have bad stable manners.
I named my horse Mayo.
If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns? Haaaaaaay
A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say ‘Thank God’ and to stop the horse, to say ’ Hallelujah’. The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled hallelujah and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said 'Thank God".
Doctor: You’re as healthy as a horse! Jimmy: That’s great! Doctor: A horse with cancer.
What do gay horses eat?
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
A Horse walks into a bar. The Barman says… “why The long face?”
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse’s butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse.
Why couldn’t Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach? Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!
I got a horse and i named it hermio-nae
Two horses are standing in a field. “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,” says the first.
“Moo!” says the second.
So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.
“Wait a minute” I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen
Then it clicked. “Ah, so that’s how you died”
Why don’t the Amish water ski?
The horses would drown.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.Dad: Rubing on the horse’s chest and butt.Little Johnny: what are you doing? Dad: checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it. Little Johnny: Oh well I think the mall man wants to buy mom.
A Horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer. One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. ¨I will go ask God!¨ So, he asks God, and God chuckles. ¨You are what you are!¨ The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, ¨What is wrong?¨ The zebra answers, ¨Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied ´You are what you are!´¨ His friend says, ¨Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said ´You is what you is!´