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As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.

A Horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

Two horses are standing in a field. “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,” says the first.

“Moo!” says the second.

So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.

“Wait a minute” I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen

Then it clicked. “Ah, so that’s how you died”

What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse’s butt?

An Amish Mechanic.

a horse walks in a bar. the bartender said why the long face

Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse.

Two kids were sitting at restaurant one said could I please have some water I am feeling a little HORSE. The other said Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game.

I named my horse Mayo.

Mayo neighs.

A Horse walks into a bar. The Barman says… “why The long face?”

chuck norris dosen’t ride horses Horses ride him

An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: 'Why is my sister caleed Crasy horse and my brother Rushing water?' Mum: Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions 2 dogs f...ing?

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something-I don’t remember. Then I replied TOUCAN play that game. He went silent and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you thick he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one and I ended it by saying, “Ok, lets MOOOOOve on cow[now]” Welp that’s it.

Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

Doctor: You’re as healthy as a horse! Jimmy: That’s great! Doctor: A horse with cancer.

A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say ‘Thank God’ and to stop the horse, to say ’ Hallelujah’. The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled hallelujah and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said 'Thank God".

What did a jockey’s manager say to him before the race? Use the horse!

If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns? Haaaaaaay

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

Why don’t the Amish water ski?

The horses would drown.