Life

Anonymous

As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.

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Eating

Daniel King

Why do horses 🐴 eat with their mouth open?

Because they have bad stable manners.

Name

Guy Linden

I named my horse Mayo.

Mayo neighs.

Unicorn

Unicorn Princess

If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns? Haaaaaaay

Cliff

Anonymous

A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say ‘Thank God’ and to stop the horse, to say ’ Hallelujah’. The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled hallelujah and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said 'Thank God".

Doctor

Anonymous

Doctor: You’re as healthy as a horse! Jimmy: That’s great! Doctor: A horse with cancer.

0

Eating

Anonymous

What do gay horses eat?

Hay.

1

Sadness

Just A Joke

Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

1

Puns

MY NAME IS TO PUN-NY

A Horse walks into a bar. The Barman says… “why The long face?”

Hand

Anonymous

What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse’s butt?

An Amish Mechanic.

1

Jack

@Not_Lance

Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse.

Cinderella

serial1964

Why couldn’t Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach? Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!

Name

saphira

I got a horse and i named it hermio-nae

Eating

Anonymous

Two horses are standing in a field. “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,” says the first.

“Moo!” says the second.

Minutes

DMack

So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.

“Wait a minute” I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen

Then it clicked. “Ah, so that’s how you died”

0

Water

Anonymous

Why don’t the Amish water ski?

The horses would drown.

0

Puns

J. P. Galli

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

Little Johnny

Anonymous

Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.Dad: Rubing on the horse’s chest and butt.Little Johnny: what are you doing? Dad: checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it. Little Johnny: Oh well I think the mall man wants to buy mom.

Bar

Anonymous

A Horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

Sadness

Anonymous

One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer. One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. ¨I will go ask God!¨ So, he asks God, and God chuckles. ¨You are what you are!¨ The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, ¨What is wrong?¨ The zebra answers, ¨Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied ´You are what you are!´¨ His friend says, ¨Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said ´You is what you is!´

3