As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.
If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns? Haaaaaaay
A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say ‘Thank God’ and to stop the horse, to say ’ Hallelujah’. The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled hallelujah and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said 'Thank God".
Why do horses 🐴 eat with their mouth open?
Because they have bad stable manners.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse.
Why couldn’t Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach? Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!
Whats a Horses faviroute Football player? NEIGH-mar!
I named my horse Mayo.
What do gay horses eat?
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
A Horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
Doctor: You’re as healthy as a horse! Jimmy: That’s great! Doctor: A horse with cancer.
Two horses are standing in a field. “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,” says the first.
“Moo!” says the second.
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse’s butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
Why don’t the Amish water ski?
The horses would drown.
So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.
“Wait a minute” I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen
Then it clicked. “Ah, so that’s how you died”
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
A Horse walks into a bar. The Barman says… “why The long face?”
I got a horse and i named it hermio-nae
What did a jockey’s manager say to him before the race? Use the horse!