As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.

If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns? Haaaaaaay

A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say ‘Thank God’ and to stop the horse, to say ’ Hallelujah’. The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled hallelujah and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said 'Thank God".

Why do horses 🐴 eat with their mouth open?

Because they have bad stable manners.

Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse.

Why couldn’t Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach? Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!

Whats a Horses faviroute Football player? NEIGH-mar!

I named my horse Mayo.

Mayo neighs.

What do gay horses eat?


Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

A Horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

Doctor: You’re as healthy as a horse! Jimmy: That’s great! Doctor: A horse with cancer.

Two horses are standing in a field. “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,” says the first.

“Moo!” says the second.

What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse’s butt?

An Amish Mechanic.

Why don’t the Amish water ski?

The horses would drown.

So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.

“Wait a minute” I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen

Then it clicked. “Ah, so that’s how you died”

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

A Horse walks into a bar. The Barman says… “why The long face?”

I got a horse and i named it hermio-nae

What did a jockey’s manager say to him before the race? Use the horse!