By using this site, you agree to its use of cookies. Read more

So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.

“Wait a minute” I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen

Then it clicked. “Ah, so that’s how you died”

As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.

A Horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

Two horses are standing in a field. “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,” says the first.

“Moo!” says the second.

What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse’s butt?

An Amish Mechanic.

a horse walks in a bar. the bartender said why the long face

Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse.

Two kids were sitting at restaurant one said could I please have some water I am feeling a little HORSE. The other said Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game.

I named my horse Mayo.

Mayo neighs.

A Horse walks into a bar. The Barman says… “why The long face?”

An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: 'Why is my sister caleed Crasy horse and my brother Rushing water?' Mum: Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions 2 dogs f...ing?

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something-I don’t remember. Then I replied TOUCAN play that game. He went silent and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you thick he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one and I ended it by saying, “Ok, lets MOOOOOve on cow[now]” Welp that’s it.

chuck norris dosen’t ride horses Horses ride him

Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say ‘Thank God’ and to stop the horse, to say ’ Hallelujah’. The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled hallelujah and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said 'Thank God".

What did a jockey’s manager say to him before the race? Use the horse!

Doctor: You’re as healthy as a horse! Jimmy: That’s great! Doctor: A horse with cancer.

One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer. One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. ¨I will go ask God!¨ So, he asks God, and God chuckles. ¨You are what you are!¨ The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, ¨What is wrong?¨ The zebra answers, ¨Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied ´You are what you are!´¨ His friend says, ¨Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said ´You is what you is!´

What do gay horses eat?

Hay.

I was eating this girl out the other night and I tasted horse semen so I said to her “oh that’s how you died grandma.”