Humor
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
no meme srry
What do you call a black comedian?
Dark Humor.
*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.
What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.
What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.
Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"