Humor
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Memes
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.