Coffin

Coffin Jokes

Condom

What does a condom and a coffin have in common?

They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.

George Washington

Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?

A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!

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  • Memes

    Back

    When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.

    Funeral

    At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.

    Funeral

    I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"

    Friend

    A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.

    Night

    Me: Good night, everyone.

    My friends and family: Night.

    Me: *gets in coffin*

    My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?

    My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.

    Orphan

    Me: I saw your parents yesterday.

    Orphan girl: Where?

    Me: The coffin was still open.

    Woman

    You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.

    Health

    How do you know someone is going to die?

    He can't stop coughing. (coffin)