Coffin jokes
How do you bury a prostitute?
In a Y-shaped coffin.
Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
Will glass coffins be a success? -- Remains to be seen.
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
Why Bing is Superior tbh
What do you call Juice WRLD in a coffin?
A juice box...
What was King Tut's favorite coffee?
De-coffin-ated.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
When earthquakes hit, coffins become maracas underground.
"Yo mama so fat when she got buried it took them all the trees on Earth for her coffin."
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.
Why did the vampire go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
How do you know a vampire's sick? If he's coffin (coughing?)
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.
What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?
Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂
What’s the difference between a living and dead person? I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.