A programmer and his wife.

She says, “We’re out of bread. Please go the grocery store and buy one. And if they’ve got eggs, get six.”

After a while, he’s back with six loaves of bread.

The wife asks, “Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?”

He replies, “They had eggs.”

I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sht was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He BNED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.

Why don’t dinosaurs lay eggs? Because they’re EGGstinct!

Before the chicken or the egg there was only Chuck Norris.

did you try the digital egg padlock? because it is very easy to crack the code.

what’s the difference between eggs,and you?eggs get laid,you don’t.

A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast here.”

A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?

Roosters don’t lay eggs.

Why did George Clooney like egg jokes?

Because he had good taste.

Humpty Dumpty felled off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call. He got hurt in a egg-cident & it never got eggs-elent. When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower. It happened too fast, he watched the very last. Next he died, eaten all fried.

My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up. If you don’t like them your just hard boiled

Are you an egg, cause you CRACK me up

The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon)-Don’t go bacon my heart (Egg)-I couldn’t if I fried

I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. – I’ll let you know.

I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!

Why did the chicken cross the road

He forgot his eggs

My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him Omelette you do your egg jokes.

Hahaha. These eggs surely crack me up!


You crack me up

What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?

It was scrambled.

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