If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? – America.

How do Mexicans feel about Trump’s wall? – They’ll get over it.

Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese. – He wants to make America grate again.

i bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday- i dont know what he laced them with but i was trippen all day

How’s Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans? – Juan by Juan.

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, …

so Trump can’t tweet it.

Trump is going too far.

He deported a printer because it didn’t have papers.

Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”

The Trump cocktail .Take a large glass + fill it with a ounce of everything behind the bar . Top it with whipped cream and a cherry . Now for the hard part Finding a Mexican to pay for it .

What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?

Orange juice

Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, “Listen Barack, I’m getting older and I’m having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?” Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. “Oh Donald, You f... just like Barack Obama.”

Why does Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election? – Because if he wins, he’ll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

Why did Trump decide to build the wall?

Because China built a wall and they do not have any mexicans.

Trump, Must I say more?

whats white on top and black on the bottom

society

Why are Trump’s ties so long?

Because they go all the way to Russia.

When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?

What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F

What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.

Cheesiest jokes

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