Trump

Donald Trump Jokes

Million

In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.

Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?

Donald Trump

Donald Trump is proud of being white, which is strange, considering he's orange. Makes you wonder why he didn't pull a Michael Jackson and bleach his own skin....

People

People claim that Trump has Russian ties.

FAKE NEWS!

All of Trump's ties are made in China.

Donald Trump

Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?

He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!

Memes

Donald Trump

All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.

After all, it's not like Donald Trump could write a book.

Wall

How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.

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  • Donald Trump

    Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!

    Your move, Ron DeSantis.

    Donald Trump

    Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.

    The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.

    In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!

    Donald Trump

    A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

    Island

    Why did Trump go to Jeffrey's secret Island?

    So he could trump that little bitch!

    Dinner

    What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?

    Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!

    Slap

    The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.

    The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”

    Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”

    So the Pope slapped him.

    Difference

    What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?

    A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.

    Race

    Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?

    Because he successfully finished a race!

    Side

    Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.

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  • Cheese

    Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

    He wants to make America grate again.

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