Donald Trump Jokes

In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.

Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?

What do you call an orange on a small stick?

Donald Trump.

Donald Trump is proud of being white, which is strange, considering he's orange. Makes you wonder why he didn't pull a Michael Jackson and bleach his own skin....

People claim that Trump has Russian ties.

FAKE NEWS!

All of Trump's ties are made in China.

Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?

He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!

All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.

After all, it's not like Donald Trump could write a book.

How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.

Why did Trump go to Jeffrey's secret Island?

So he could trump that little bitch!

Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.

The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.

In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!

Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!

Your move, Ron DeSantis.

What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?

Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!

A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?

By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!

What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?

A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.

Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?

Because he successfully finished a race!

The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”

Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”

So the Pope slapped him.

What do you call a Trump Supporter?

A piece of $hit!

Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.

Donald: "If I lose this election, I will leave the country."

Joe: "Bi den"

Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

He wants to make America grate again.