How do Mexicans feel about Trump’s wall? – They’ll get over it.
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!"
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love she is always on top?
Donald Trump can only F@#k up.
A man goes into heaven and there he meets jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says “that is mother teresa’s clock it has never moved because she has never lied”. “There is Abraham Lincolns clock. He has .lied twice so it has moved twice.” “Where is Donald Trump’s?” Ask’s the man. Jesus answers “it is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan.”
Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were one a falling airplane. Their were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world”, so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually their are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese. – He wants to make America grate again.
Why does Donald Trump take Xanax ?
For hispanic attacks !
Trump’s medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, …
so Trump can’t tweet it.
If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? – America.
What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F
Americans won’t have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.
Q:What is Trump
A: an oversized oompa loompa
Trump says to Obama “you know it’s the White House not the black house right?” And Obama says “yeah but it isn’t the orange house either.
Why did Trump decide to build the wall?
Because China built a wall and they do not have any mexicans.
Where in hell is Lee Harvey Oswald now when we need him?
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn’t have papers.
North Korea and the martians were fighting about who was going the reach venus first. Trump steps in and says " That doesn’t matter american is going to land on the sun first". The martians and North Korea said “you can’t land on the sun it’s to hot and you will die”. Trump said his brilliant plan that “America is going to land their at night”.
Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, “Listen Barack, I’m getting older and I’m having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?” Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. “Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama.”
My young son saw trump on TV he asked “Why is the man on TV painted orange?” I replied “Son when Russia pays that much for equipment, They don’t want it to rust”