How do Mexicans feel about Trump’s wall? – They’ll get over it.

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, …

so Trump can’t tweet it.

The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!"

Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”

So the Pope slapped him.

Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese. – He wants to make America grate again.

Why does Donald Trump take Xanax ?

For hispanic attacks !

If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? – America.

How’s Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans? – Juan by Juan.

A man goes into heaven and there he meets jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says “that is mother teresa’s clock it has never moved because she has never lied”. “There is Abraham Lincolns clock. He has .lied twice so it has moved twice.” “Where is Donald Trump’s?” Ask’s the man. Jesus answers “it is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan.”

Why won’t Trump be subject to impeachment? Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!

Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were one a falling airplane. Their were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world”, so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually their are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”

Trump’s medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.

Why are Trump’s ties so long?

Because they go all the way to Russia.

Trump says to Obama “you know it’s the White House not the black house right?” And Obama says “yeah but it isn’t the orange house either.

Trump is going too far.

He deported a printer because it didn’t have papers.

I was rooting for Donald trump to be president We havnt had a presidential assassination in a while

Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, “Listen Barack, I’m getting older and I’m having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?” Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. “Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama.”

What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F

Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love she is always on top?

Donald Trump can only F@#k up.

Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.

What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?

Orange juice

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