What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A “BeanerSchnitzel”!
Humor
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
Incest is wincest. (That was above.)
Fun for the whole family!
Next of kin, count me in!
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
I got an Xbox achievement the other day. It said "Trash Master," and everyone looked at me at the funeral.
What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."
Orphan: And I took that, personally.
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
