Humor
What do you call an Indian with pink hair?
Ghandi floss.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
I'm gonna stop telling rape jokes...
They just seem so forced.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
Memes
I feel this one on a personal level.
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”.
I don't struggle with depression. Like at this point I got it down. I'm good at depression.
what song did people in Hiroshima listen to?
"Here Comes the Sun."
What did the priest say to the skunk?
Let us spray.
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
Why don’t mountains take things seriously?
Because they’re hill areas.
How does Moses make his cup of tea?
He brews it.